That's What Friends Are For
Not Everyone Understands
by Holly Holmes
Teens in high school have no idea what goes into being in a wheelchair.
I’ve heard them comment that they think it’s fun having
people do things for you all the time — even if it’s not
done exactly how you would like it. They don’t know what it’s
like to be persuaded to do something you don’t want to do, because
there aren’t many things you can do, or to wait on people who
eventually let you down, or to see people do something you wish you
could do.
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Holly Holmes |
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When these things happen, I turn to friends who have the same feelings.
I have several longtime friends with muscular dystrophy and two with
spina bifida who help me talk it out, vent and coax me to get past
it. These are the kinds of friends to have!
I also write to vent. I write about how I wish that for a couple
of days someone could be in my place. I wonder what they would think
and feel about the circumstances, the duties, the obligation and the
self-discipline of having a terminal illness.
My advice to other teens going through the same thing is this: Remember
to stay realistic about the unfairness of the situation. There isn’t
anything we can do to change it, so get someone you can talk to about
how you feel, so you won’t feel like you’re the only one
going through it.
And most importantly, know that everything happens for a reason and
for the purpose of good! You may be going through a very tough time
in your life right now, but there is an end to everything, including
time. Just stay strong and persist till you see the good in it and
then you’ll know you’ll be OK.
Holly Holmes, 19, lives in Oklahoma City. She has spinal muscular
atrophy (SMA) type 3.
Group Means the World
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Kelly Cooper |
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by Kelly Cooper
MDA teen group is a place to hang out with friends, discuss the problems
we face in our everyday lives, learn about things that will help us
in the future, have parties and fun outings, and get some freedom
from our parents.
At teen group, we have people to talk to about issues in our lives
that have to do with our disabilities. Speakers share information
on topics that help us prepare for the future when we won’t
have our parents around to do everything for us.
Our group leaders are always there for us. They’re role models,
and encourage and inspire us. When we lost a member of the teen group,
they helped us grieve and remember all the happy times we had together.
Personally, they helped me by giving me information that helped me
decide I wanted to go into the medical field.
We do plenty of fun things in teen group, like Halloween parties,
going to restaurants, and having a sleepover party with makeovers
for the girls and video games for the boys.
MDA teen group means the world to me — as much as MDA summer
camp does. Without it, I would only see my friends once a year at
camp.
Parents, I definitely recommend sending your teen to a local group
for teens with disabilities, even if your child doesn’t want
to go because he or she is shy. We’ve had teens come who were
really shy and they loved it so much they kept coming back.
Teen group helps develop social skills and gives teens freedom from
their parents. Parents are encouraged to leave and let their teens
have good, safe fun. Great relationships bloom, and friends become
best friends or boyfriends and girlfriends.
If there isn’t a teen group in your area, I strongly suggest
you talk to your MDA office about starting one.
Kelly Cooper, 15, lives in Owings, Md., and has limb-girdle muscular
dystrophy.
Thankful
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Laura Medcalf |
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by Laura Medcalf
In this world,
this crazy, hectic world,
We are in need of helping hands.
In this crazy, foolish world,
We are in desperate need of people who help others stand.
Very rarely do you find people like this anymore,
Who support others in need.
Instead, you find people who ignore,
People who ignore others’ needs.
I am thankful for those who reach out,
And those who lend that helping hand.
For they erase all my doubts,
These angels on Earth are who make happiness expand.
Laura Medcalf, 16, lives in Indianapolis and has SMA type 3.
She dedicates this poem to “those who have helped and supported
others in need. Such kindness helps the world go around.”
The Energizer Bunny
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Lauren Williams |
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by Lauren Williams
Eleanor Roosevelt wrote, “Many people will walk in and out
of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your
heart.” I’ve met great friends at school and work, but
never any as precious as the ones I’ve met at MDA summer camp.
MDA campers understand the true meaning of friendship. Does it really
matter what a friend looks like? It’s easy to judge by outward
appearances, not by personality. At camp, we understand each other’s
feelings because we’ve been through the same kinds of experiences.
Linked to camp is my MDA teen group that meets once a month. We have
a good time and just feel normal, not the “outcasts” we’ve
all felt like before.
Teen group keeps us going during the year. At camp, everyone is completely
charged with perseverance and inner strength. We leave knowing “we’re
not so different after all.” But during the school year, things
can get stressful. Teen group works as our Energizer Bunny to charge
that battery of motivation we have inside.
Dealing with my diagnosis in middle school was hard for me. One week
I’d have a lot of friends and the next week people would turn
their backs and say mean things. I didn’t know anyone from MDA
camp or teen group, and I felt like I’d never have any real
friends.
Going through that tough time made me a stronger person, but it would
have been less painful if I could have called some of the camp and
teen group friends I have now. It would have made me feel a lot better
knowing someone else had gone through the same things.
The past is past, and in high school I haven’t had trouble
making friends. In fact, today I get along with most of the people
who were mean to me. But I know I’ll have my MDA family through
thick and thin — friends who won’t look down on each other
when life changes.
Lauren Williams, 18, lives in Baltimore. She has Becker muscular
dystrophy.
